Film Review: Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter November 29, 2005
Posted by krogenar in Movies, Reviews, b movies.add a comment
The Power of Christ Impales You!
Synopsis: If my priest knew that I saw this film, I would probably be refused Communion.
Here’s the plot, stay with me. I’ll do what I can to capitalize the relevant pronouns.
Vampires have started controlling the world (really, just Canada) and now they can walk in the sunlight. Only Jesus can stop the evil from spreading. Although, actually, mostly lesbians are being targeted to become new vampires. A cadre of priests (ok, just two — and one has a mohawk) contact Jesus at the beach, when they are attacked by lesbian vampires. Jesus takes a shot to the crotch, recovers, and then kung-fu kicks them into submission. Christ realizes the danger now, and sets out to put things right. He shaves off his beard, gets a more up-to-date haircut and has an earring put in.
